[starfire voice] MY ANACONDA DOES NOT WISH TO PARTAKE
"can men and women really be just friends??" straight people are so weird
It is a fact that bisexuals can’t make friends. There is only prey.
*makes raptor noises*
Cole heard something, stood up, and just… stayed standing up.
Panda researchers in China wear panda costumes to give mother-like feeling to a lonely baby panda who lost her mother [x]
without context it looks like some guy disguised himself as a panda so he could sneak into their panda community and now he’s making a quick getaway with the baby panda
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
"No no, stop. Go owl somewhere else."
Looks like two witches familiars arguing about something
“but why are french people so rude!!" you ask
it’s because our national symbol is a cock
so we can’t help being dicks
this is my post with the most notes and it’s a dick joke
Son, nothing can tear these two apart.
this thing w ferguson is making me wonder how many of the historical riots that happened in the 20th century they teach you about in school were actually ‘riots’ ??
I’m scared that in 40 years, I’m gonna have to tell my child what really happened because their textbooks will be full of lies
history is written by the victors
"You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel"
God DAMN thats some Shakespearean shit right there
Of all a deer’s senses, their eyesight is the worst.
I don’t know what I was expecting but this was so much better than that
"FUCKING SHIT WORMTAIL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE"
Sister and I discuss candle advertising